What does it really mean to be a scientist, an environmental scientist?
It was my dream when I was a little girl, to be a chemist who can create perfumes with fragrances from flowers, who is always so amazed by the nature world…
It was me who challenged my whole little world of schools and family to prove that a girl can study well as the education goes higher, not less than a boy. A girl can be as good at maths and natural sciences, not less than a boy. It was me who struggled so much with equations, chemical molecules, all kinds of laws in physics and statistics, labs and experiments. A girl who was praised in literature class decided to change to specialize in chemistry subject just to challenge this way of thinking about myself? Not sure if it comes from others or it is internalized in me? Probably both.
How many times I have doubted about myself and capacities, losing my confidence when I was surrounded by excellent classmates, crying when badly failed.
However, I have the feeling that I am back. I have that motivation at the moment. I am not for a political world. I am for the natural world. That motivates me, in the best of my capacity, to choose sciences, with my own meaning for it. I want to explore my natural world and go from there.
And now at some kind of middle life age, how funny I am loaded with exams, deadlines, assignments and exams again. To be honest, I never feel aged. Exploring and being curious on what I want to ask, I feel alive. I am typing these lines in the sunshine of my morning time, on a winter day, with the apple tree branches outside my window. Lights and shadows are painted the wall, beautiful than ever…
Hani 
:3